Have you ever seen someone take a shit on stage...

I most certainly have - at least I saw someone mime taking a shit on a stage.

Anyway I've recently been going over some of my old notebooks from my time spent improvising in New York (I spent a summer there taking classes at the amazing UCB theater). In one of the notebooks I found a recounting of one of the most bizarre scenes I’ve ever (to this day) seen in my life… so for your pleasure here they are (NB these are completely true I wrote down the dialogue and situation right after they happened – that’s how much they affected me).

An older gentleman and the overly sexual young lady (anyone who has taken a lot of improv classes or spent time in the community knows the type I'm talking about) from our class take the stage -
To protect their identities (it’s been a couple years, I don’t recall their names at all – just have them written in my note book as old guy and slutty chick…at the time it made sense) I will refer to them as Adam & Eve in the retelling below.

Adam & Eve stand in the middle of the stage looking around – quickly Eve turns to Adam and says:
Eve: “I don’t know if they are going to like us having sex in the mall in front of all these people.”
Adam: “No they’re going to love it.”
Adam quickly spins Eve around so she faces away from him, bends her over, grasps her hips and begins thrusting his crotch into her ass with incredible vigor. After a few moments of this:
Eve: “Sweetie I don’t think this is working.”
Adam slowly stops his thrusting as he thinks for a moment, allowing Eve to straighten and face him. Finally an idea comes to him
Adam: “Fine let’s try killing each other”
Both Adam & Eve pull knives from seemingly thin air and begin stabbing each other in the chest with no apparent effect.
Eve: “Maybe we should go back to creating art.”
Adam squats down and mimes taking a shit on the stage.
Fin

And there you have it friends - I can’t believe I had managed to forget all about that scene till now… ah memories.

Anyway that’s all I’ve got for now - hope you enjoyed it.

ciao